Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Reveal Me Completely


Following the Aug. 8 birth of his son Parker, singer Clay Aiken is following through on a promise he made to himself as a new dad: to publicly acknowledge that he's gay.

"It was the first decision I made as a father," Aiken, 29, tells the upcoming issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday. "I cannot raise a child to lie or to hide things. I wasn't raised that way, and I'm not going to raise a child to do that."

Aiken says he expects the news may overwhelm some of his fans. "Whether it be having a child out of wedlock, or whether it be simply being a homosexual, it's going to be a lot," said Aiken, who returned to Broadway last week as Sir Robin in Monty Python's Spamalot.

He adds that he hopes his fans "know that I've never intended to lie to anybody at all. ... But if they leave, I don't want them to leave hating me."

How He Came Out to His Family
The born-again Christian singer also reveals how he told his mother Faye he's gay four years ago. After dropping off his younger brother Brett, who was being deployed to Iraq, at Camp Lejeune, "I started crying in the car," Aiken remembers. "It was dark. I was sitting there, thinking to myself. I don't know why I started thinking about it ... I just started bawling. She made me pull over the car and it just came out."

So what was his mom's reaction? "She started crying. She was obviously somewhat stunned. But she was very supportive and very comforting." Even now, Aiken admits, "She still struggles with things quite a bit, but she's come a long way."

As for his own child, Aiken tells PEOPLE that Parker – who was conceived via in vitro fertilization with his best friend, music producer Jaymes Foster – will be raised in an environment that is "accepting and allowing him to be happy."

Says Aiken: "I have no idea if he'll be gay or straight. It's not something I'll have anything to do with, or that he'll have anything to do with. It's already probably up inside the code there ... No matter what the situation you're in, if you're raised in a loving environment, that's the most important thing."


People Magazine has scored a two-fer exclusive with Clay Aiken. A first-look at his beautiful baby, Parker and the very big news that Clay is gay. After what must have been a long journey to self-realization in regards to his sexuality, I hope that Clay has found peace and happiness in his life.

As to be expected, reactions to the news are diverse, but the majority is very positive. Here are a few highlights:

In my eyes Clay is still a man of immense integrity. Keeping his sexual orientation to himself doesn't change that one iota. I've been a fan for a long time and I'm going to be a fan forever. I've come to appreciate and respect the man he. His kindness, his compassion, the way he gives back as often as he can and so many more qualities that right now I can't sort out.

Should Clay be reading this I want him to know how proud I am of him. I'm proud of the way he remained a gentleman despite having so many people fling mud at him. I would want him to know this fan, this fan is going nowhere. Well not necessarily true...this fan wants desperately to go to another concert. SOON. Not Clay's soon buy my soon. Say spring time 2009? Yeah, that sounds about right.
He is an amazing man, a singular talent, possessed of a blue-moon vocal ability, a genius for interpretation, a gift for comedy, a compassionate spirit and a loving heart. In service to children's causes, he embodies the concept of servant-leader. He writes with insight and humor. He's becoming a fine actor. He has crafted one of the best and most moving lyrics I have heard in the last decade, and I hope there will be many more songs that he wants to sing, because I will always want to listen.
I have to tell you that the feeling inside of me is one of happiness, relief and joy for him. I just keep thinking "the truth will set you free". After all the years of speculation, taunting, and derision...I am finally hoping that Clay can just live his life in peace. To me it's like the release of a butterfly that has been hidden in a dark chrysalis for a long time. I feel so happy for him...and I feel so proud of him for his bravery and courage at revealing this truth to the world in his own time and terms.
I just listened to "On My Way Here" today coming home from work (before seeing the People Cover). My favorite song is "The Real Me". And I love the lines..."reveal me...completely" (see my designation). That line has always resonated with me partly because I believe one of the greatest journeys as a person is the journey to be an authentic human being. To know oneself. It's not so much "finding oneself" as much as it is "revealing oneself".
Clay, you are still exactly the same man to me today that you were any other day. A humble man with an incredible voice, a man with a desire to make the world a happier and better place, a man with an unbelievable capacity to love the children of the world and do everything he can to make their lives better, a man committed to teaching others about the importance of inclusion of children of all abilities in the world around him, a man who loves and appreciates his fans, and deserves in return their love and appreciation.
Is his heart any different than it was before? Is his voice less beautiful? Is he no longer the loving, caring man he's always been--the man who truly wants to make a difference in this world?
No, he hasn't changed. He's the same man, I'm the same fan. No, I take that back--maybe I love him more.
Clay is exactly the same person he was 24 hours ago. The only difference is that he's chosen to share something deeply private that we had no business or need to know for the sake of setting the right example for his newborn son. To me, this act of sharing now is the epitome of honor, nobility and grace. It only makes me love him and respect him more. I do not care that it took him this long to do it, since it's none of my beeswax anyway. I do not feel betrayed or misled in ANY way. It does not affect his character in my eyes or the fact that he is an amazing musician and humanitarian. My life and the lives of thousands all over the world are better because of him and that's all I need to know.
After Parker was born I started listening very closely to the lyrics on the OMWH CD and "Lover All Alone" 's lyrics stood out to me...when I heard them over and over, the line at the beginning "and I was wrong all along" and at the end "but I was wrong all along" convinced me of Clay's sexuality...I am not normally very analytical with song lyrics, but I felt some revelation that, especially since Clay wrote these lyrics, that he was trying to tell that he was gay through the lyrics of this hauntingly beautiful song. To me it shows that, at first he was not sure, but eventually he had to admit to himself that he was gay... the "and" and the "but" are very telling.

Overall, a very positive fan reaction. Yes, there are some struggling with the news and hopefully they can come to terms with it. If not, it's their loss because in the end Clay is what he always was, a man of honor and integrity. A man worthy of our respect and admiration. Plus the man still sings like an angel.

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At 7:20 AM, Blogger Carolina Clay said...


Beautiful blog! I added a link to my new entry, and there seems to be a connecting trail in the live feed.

Have a great day!


At 8:11 AM, Blogger gerra said...

Beautiful blog. I am 100% supportive of Clay Aiken and his reasons for coming out now. What a beautiful family he has. I cannot wait for the next concert tour! Crossing my fingers that it will be this spring.


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