Funny Guy

Clay gave his fans a nice surprise during his Christmas tour---lots of banter. We already knew that he was funny, but I don't think we knew quite how funny and quick-witted he is (nor quite so bawdy). It was like a whole new talent was revealed during the tour. Clay played off his audience extremely well. Here is a sampling of the funny from our singing comedian.

• You messed up her hairdo (after an audience member grabbed someone in front of her by the head)
• You can all say you slept with Clay Aiken (after he suggested the audience go to sleep because he was tired)
• Unfortunately, I'm not, I'm not (comeback to a guess of "scoring on the tour" for the word of the day Scordatura)
• Elmer, I would be careful about wearing so much white, if I were you
• Git er done
• playing with wood (word of the day reference)
• your stealin' mah show!! (to someone on the other end of a cellcert)
• And how old is Frankie (Clay looking for a hookup after learning Frankie is from Raleigh.)
• Frankie, I'm going to have to let you go (talking to cellcerter on the phone )
• I'll sing this for you, and so Sharon can get a closer look at mah um..... (making fun of the binoculars from the front row)
• Eyes up here
• Look at his crotch!
• We've going to need you keep the eye level up here.
• and this first line"-----Chestnuts roasting on an open fire"
• Are you looking up my nose? (reference to binoculars up close)
• She can see the birds in Delaware with these things. (checking out the binoculars)
• There is so much talent in my family
• It took me 20 minutes to squeeze into this sweater.
• She's gonna be on the message boards, "He was suckin' in all night!"
• My button is screaming at me. (reference to his suit jacket is too tight as he unbuttons it)
• I'm an enigma whose put on weight.
• That's rude! (reference to Ripagate)
• I'd do it again (reference to Ripagate)
• Wassup with you??
• Whatevah!
• You're hot though.
• It certainly wasn't for being the quietest! (guessing a contest a loud audience member won)
• Oh my God, I'm funny!
• Do you think it was rude ? Well, it was intended to be rude.(reference to Ripagate)
• It needed to be done. (reference to Ripagate)
• Cover your ears, Linda.......
• It's a little less sweet now and a little more suspect. (reference to a story from an audience member)
• You cussed on MAH show!
• They're a special breed. They're a different folk, as you can tell. (talking about his fans who have been to numerous shows)
• If you were in my classroom, you'd be out in the hall!
• They may even teach your children!!!!! (talking about his fans who have been to numerous shows)
• Ah'm the King of Controversy!
• Apparently I have a "love child" (reference to new tabloid rumor)
• Apparently, there's a little red headed baby boy out there in the world.
• Apparently, this girl did to. ( response to I love you Clay)
• You don't have to buy the smut. We just give it to you right here.
• You learn something new everyday.
• In the last 3 weeks, I've had mah lips done, fathered an illegitimate child, and caused a national controversy with one move of mah hand.
• I figure as long as I get the words, Jesus, Christmas, and snowbells in there somewhere you'll get it. (making fun of his forgetting the lyrics to his songs)
• Please welcome the executive producer of one of the worst albums of 2006 (introducing Jaymes Foster and making fun of being on the EW list)
• you're pissed off about that, aren't you?
• You go ahead and play whatever you want sir. If I know the words, I'll sing along.
• Gentleman, the fact that you're here is good and it'll help when you get home .
• Sometimes things come out of my mouth that don't even go through my brain!
• Whoooooooooo! (In response to the woman winning a contest for tickets and filling out a form.)
• "Ma'am Im actually making fun of you and you continue to do that"
• Can you what? Can you see my socks?
• That woman just thumped him in the head! You can't do that! That's like putting your hand over someone'smouth!
• Cindy just put her hand over your man's mouth!
• Oh, I knew it wasn't a word! I knew he made it up! I was just playing along!
• Someone is going to jump you in a moment.
• I need to have a "Come to Jesus" meeting with her. (in response to a shouting fan)
• I would not pay $100 to see myself. ( after finding out what someone paid for their ticket)
• You don't have to be so mean about it. (after someone tells him to cut his hair)
• I got your book now, whatcha gonna do. (quizzing an audience member after taking a dictionary from them during the word of the day segment)
• What was I saying. I'm so flustered.
• You've been to the Clay Aiken debauc...show before.
• I'm easily entertained.
• I used to have an accent but I've gotten rid of it.
• Are you selling peanuts or something?
• Do you want us to wait while you finish the call? Go ahead and finish up, we'll wait. (talking to someone holding a cellphone)
• You're stealing my show.

Montage of One-Liners by Sorkid78

A collection of one liners of Clay Aiken's Joyful Not a Tour series.

Banter from Waukegan, IL

~~Video by spotlightlover~~

Banter from Merrillville, IN

~~Video by Scarlett~~

Banter from Hartford, CT

~~video from jojoct~~

Technorati Tags: Clay Aiken, banter, humor, Christmas Concert, 2006